Okay, you've followed the advice of the past two posts and have narrowed down your dearest companions to the group you really want to stand up for you. Now you need a maid/matron of honor or two.
First off, let me clear up a misconception I hear a lot: maid and matron of honor mean exactly the same thing, just the former isn't married and the latter is (I use the term "maid" generically through most of this blog just for ease, by the way). You don't need one of each and are free to have two or more of either or both if you want. A friend of mine had some family conflict when she chose her maid of honor, so she just made all three bridesmaids maids and matrons of honor to make everyone happy. In other words, do whatever works for you!
So, how do you decide if you want more than one (assuming you aren't in the same uncomfortable situation as my friend was, of course)? Once again, there are some pros and cons to both.
Unless your maid of honor candidates get along really well it may be hard to get them to work together. Conflicting personalities, jealousy, and more factor in heavily here, much more than for your regular bridesmaids, since they both have the right to make a lot of decisions. Having one point person can really make your life simpler, as a good maid of honor will keep most of the bridesmaid issues out of your purview and simply update you on important news. When there are two or more you may have to deal with them complaining about each other and competing for your attention and approval. Think sibling rivalry.
If they have complimentary personalities and work well together, you will have struck gold. Two (or more) minds mean more creativity (especially since they can bounce ideas off of and inspire each other) and a stronger support system for the bride. Also, neither will be as stressed as they would have been going it alone, which is nice for both them and you!
What you should be most careful to avoid is making someone maid of honor when you know she won't keep up with her end of things while the other one has to pick up the slack. Seriously, that is an excellent way to risk ruining a friendship with the one who does all the work, since it's hard not to resent someone sharing all the glory without making the effort.
In most cases I think it's best to have a benevolent dictatorship when it comes to maid of honor, so one is the right number. However, there are plenty of situations that call for two and you need to figure that out according to who is right for the job.
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