For the Bride: Choosing Your Attendants Part 2

Okay, so now you've decided on the size of your ideal bridal party and it's time to figure out how to fit your beloved friends and relatives into that puzzle. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

1. Who could I never imagine getting married without? If I were having a very intimate ceremony who would be the first on the guest list, or if I was eloping with witnesses only who would I want to act in that capacity?
2. Who has really stood by me in the bad times, putting up with my every mood swing and issue?
3. Who has cheered me on most in the good times, without jealousy or cattiness?
4. Who do I see myself staying friends with for life?
5. Who plays well with others?
6. Who do I really trust?
7. Who has the ability to participate, financially and time-wise, without my having to feel guilty about every choice (like your dream bridesmaid dresses) or even asking her in the first place?

A lot of people seem to say you should automatically start with your oldest friends and sisters, but I think that's only true if they fit the criteria above. There is no reason to ask a childhood friend that you don't talk to regularly, just as you shouldn't automatically exclude your new best friend just because you haven't been friends for ages. Nor should you ask a sister who has never supported you or is the type to get in your way. If you have issues with someone already it's pretty likely that there will be problems over the year or so of your planning.

If you are not doing opposite-gender-included bridal parties and your groom has sisters and/or close female friends he wants included, make him run through the same list of questions. Same goes for other relatives (like your mother for future mother-in-law) who make bridesmaid requests.

Look at this as an opportunity to really explore your friendships and figure out which ones are for the long haul, just as you did when choosing your groom! After all, you WILL be looking at these pictures for life.