Lowered Expectations?

As I mentioned in my previous post, I get really offended when I read comments like, "Bridesmaids are only required to buy a dress and show up at the wedding." Now, I get the sentiment, since bridesmaids can be disappointing, but I also hate the thought that our nearest and dearest friends and family should be expected to do so little. I mean, even as a non-bridesmaid friend I've done lots of things for brides, because they are my friends and I love them!

So, it especially bothers me both when I hear about low expectations for any attendants, but especially for maids or matrons of honor. After all, the words "maid" and "honor" convey a certain amount of service AND benefits.

I know very few maids of honor either do or are expected to do as much as I am for this wedding, in my past experiences the bride has needed far less help than my sister, but there is always a lot that can be done to make the bride's planning days and wedding much easier and even more special, and the right woman (or man, really) should do what they can within their means.

Of course, that can mean doing anything from throwing a simple bridal shower in your home or helping the bride make her favors to throwing a lavish bachelorette party in Vegas or just listening to endless hours of chatter about the exact shade of white she wants her dress to be. It's never wise to say yes to anything you can't afford, of course, but that doesn't mean you can't do many things that will make the bride feel as special as she should!

Most important, you should always show off how well you know the bride by tailoring everything to her. For example, for the bachelorette party my sister requested a night of bar-hopping, so I'm hiring a stretch SUV or party bus with a DVD player and bringing all her favorite 80s movies we loved as kids and mix CDs of her favorite tunes from her whole life. She doesn't know anything about that yet and I just know she's going to be so excited! I'm also preparing a bunch of trivia questions about her, getting progressively sillier and more embarassing (roast-style). To save money and prevent mixing-related spills, I'm bottling a few homemade cocktails, sort of a gourmet version of her favorite drinks with fresh juices and such (I haven't decided on the exact recipes yet) for the ride.

What I would really like is to get a karaoke machine for the bus but I haven't found one within the budget. Still trying, though! We've always loved to sing.

Still, the point is that it's really all about her and celebrating the past before she enters her future. Not to mention that a lot of what I'm doing doesn't cost much but will have a big impact.

I got off on a bachelorette tangent, obviously, but my real point is that when you make an effort on anything it will make things nicer for the bride. Whether it's just a nice gesture or actually taking care of some work SHE would otherwise have to do you can rather easily be an exceptional MOH.

Especially if the snarky posters on message boards of a certain well-known wedding site are to be believed and attendants aren't pulling their weight these days!