5 Stages of Joy

So, one of the beloved women in your life read the past few posts and decided you were the best choice for maid of honor, congratulations! If you are anything like me, you can't stop smiling and want to learn everything you can about being the best maid of honor possible. You feel like a million dollars, both that your friend, sister, or maybe cousin is marrying the man she loves and that she decided to honor you in that way.



It's like the "5 Stages of Joy", instead of grief. Actually, it's kind of like what a bride goes through, only you're more likely to experience it multiple times (I hope) and it's to a lesser extent, of course.



Stage 1, Elation: You are so honored and feel the strongest bond with the bride that you've ever experienced with her. Everything about the wedding is great, the sky's the limit and you're going to have so much FUN!



Stage 2, Research: You find that whatever else you may have been doing or planned on doing when you go online you somehow end up looking at bridesmaid dresses, looking up ideas for bachelorette parties and bridal showers, or even blogs like this one. You may even start writing your toasts. If you are involved with wedding planning a lot this time is a big bonus, although it may interfere with your job, relationships, studies, or hobbies.



Stage 3, Fear: All the things you've read make you realize that there is a LOT to do. Suddenly 6 months to 2 years doesn't seem like a long time. The more involved you are and the smaller the bridal party the more fear there is, and it's legitimate.



Stage 4, Panic: You start toting up the numbers. Man, this stuff costs a lot. Unless you have a super-thrifty bride or a wealthy one who is covering a lot of things, the dress is likely to be over $100 and often quite a bit more. That's before alterations or shoes, strapless bras, nails, hair, or makeup. Showers can cost quite a bit, even if you do everything you can to ease the pain. Bachelorettes can run even higher, even though the costs tend to be split by the guests (except the guest of honor), even just a night of bar-hopping with a designated driver from in your group can run to quite an expense, and it only goes up from there. Will the bridesmaids pull their weight or is this going to end up all on your plate? Oh, yes, there's so many variables to what you will be dealing with!



This can easily be exacerbated if you don't know the bridal party at all or are a major part of planning.



Stage 5, Acceptance: It's okay, you have awhile to work all of this out and you're going to have a good time doing it. You can find ways to make it all more reasonable and find at least a person or two you can rely on. You will have a lot of laughs along the way to relieve the unavoidable stresses. It's not just going to be okay, it's going to be great! Sure, things will go awry and you'll have to put out the fires, but you can handle it. There's work to do and it will get done by the time it needs to if you just budget your time well for awhile and do it. Now, let's get started!